At his last neurology appointment we were told that we needed to get flu shots so we did. The important piece of the flu shot is for the nasty, knock you out for a week, would rather choose death kind of flu and not the 24-48 hour stomach bug that seems to be around. This was a defining moment for us because we both got the bug. On Christmas Day we flew to Florida to have Christmas with his mom and family. As a side note, I was really nervous about the weather causing issues for him but being this time of year it proved to not be a problem. Anyway, when we arrived, we were all in a condo together and the family started to get sick. It was the flu bug and not the influenza but even still it was knocking everyone out one by one. Hubby and I did what we could to enjoy Daytona Beach, including the day that Hubby did the Nascar experience at the track. (The smile on his face was unforgettable when he got out of the car) We were there from Wednesday to Sunday and by Saturday night we were still holding strong. At midnight I lost the battle and hubby got sick about 4 am. Being that we were suppose to fly out, we got up and got ready but my mother in law decided that hubby was too sick and called the airline. Did you know they they won't let you fly sick but require you to go to urgent care to have doctors documentation? It's not surprising I guess but it was a bit of a pain when it happened. Ultimately we were thankful because by the time we got back to the condo hubby was drained and commented that he didn't think he would have made it through the day of flying. After a day of sleeping, we were able to fly out the next day. The fear was that since he has MS that he wouldn't be able to recover as well as the rest of us. It ended up that We were the least sick of everyone in the condo. It was miserable don't get me wrong but he proved that he takes care of himself and was able to recover. He made it through with no issues other than being drained energy wise longer than the rest of us. Whew!
Knowing that it was time to write again, I asked him if there was anything he wanted me to say for him. A little side note if you will. He's not a man of many words, but this is from him.
"Thank you to everyone for the support. I have come to terms much better over the last few months and while everyone moves forward, I am ultimately still the guy with MS. I run to ensure that I still have full use of all 4 limbs in 20 years. I take my injections everyday and no matter how much they suck, it's my reality. The only physical signs I really experience are my left eye, which is 90% healed and my lack of balance. My wife points out that I still run and she's right but if I am standing still and try to pick something up off the floor, or make a 180 degree turn in place, that's when I am reminded. Please don't feel sorry for me. I am a fighter but I still have my dark moments when I ask "why me?" I have a great support system and I move forward every day. You want honest though? It really sucks when people ask "Do you remember?" Or I hear "how can you not remember?" Yep, I don't remember. I laugh it off sometimes but other times I get mad and walk away. I don't expect people to understand but if you couldn't remember things you knew you should, wouldn't you be frustrated? Again, don't feel bad for me. Don't think I am dying, don't worry that I am going to be in a wheelchair, just don't. I don't want to be treated any different and I surely don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. If it it has to be me, it is up to me. Thank you to everyone that still reads this and thank you to everyone that has registered for the walk in April."
We were suppose to go to an MS benefit over the weekend but Mother Nature had other ideas. We are looking forward to trying to attend an event to support others but I can tell that Hubby is nervous about the idea of meeting people in wheelchairs or using walkers. I am encouraging that he will see more people that are like him and not to worry. MS is different for everyone and I am sticking to the fact that we have to follow through everyday with just him. We will take each situation as it comes and what will be will be. We will do it together.
Hubby admitted to me that there's a lot he doesn't tell me. He doesn't want to depress me. Hearing that he keeps things to himself hurt worse than talking through things or being part of his support system. It's a large part the process but as we move forward I truly hope he realizes that by talking about it and telling me what is going on, it will help him emotionally and honestly will help me too. Writing this blog is really the only time I express what I am thinking. Evidentially we are both going through the plug of life and trying to almost ignore the MS by establishing life all over again. Here's to a happy and healthy 2014!
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